Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Search for a Tanner Posture and Beach Hair

You can never be too rich, thin, blonde or tan. Ok, the last three are obviously tongue in cheekly written because YES YOU CAN look malnourished with bleachy fried locks sporting overly charred flesh. Hello.."Magda" in Something About Mary is a testament to those South Florida sins. Embarking on my eleventh month of being a mother, I have very little no time time to bask in the warm sun, bronzing my limbs as I read a magazine. Nope. My life plays itself out in two hour increments every day. Whatever I decide to do, wherever I need to go, I can really only do it in a two hour span. I am on baby time now. 

So that is my segue into self tanners and beach hair. The latter I'll get to in a sec... Let's begin with an oldie from back in the day (pre-college I think) which is Toma's Tan Perfect! I saw an infomercial and was hooked. I would schmear this cream all over my face religiously as if it was my moisturizer. Loved you, Toma!
But I grew up... And then I fell in love with Donatella Versace (read: blonde hair, tan face) and hence, Versace bronzer. Oh did I have an infatuation with this bronzer! I still yearn for this. But now I have a replacement since this has been discontinued for a loooong time. I found me some Nars Laguna and Casino. But I'm not done....
This Chanel self-tanner was again, another all-time favorite. Great color output. I think they reformulated this because my old bottle didn't look exactly like this. Anyways ~
Alright - if you're feeling rich or stupid one day, then buy this Sisley gel. It's organic, smells delightful, gives you a decent tan and is just that. Decent. For the money, I wouldn't replenish. I still have this and use it from time to time. 

I used St. Tropez tanning cream (now I use mousse) many moons ago. I didn't care for it then and I am trying to care for it now. I like the mousse for my face because it dries in a snap. Beware it stains your hands like the dickens! So even after you wash/scrub it off your hands, there is still evidence lingering in your palm and fingertips. Goes away in about a day. I find two daily applications gives me noticeable color. My husband actually commented one day that my face looked tan. So I guess I'll keep this product. 

I had a weak (read: impulsive) moment online shopping for a "beach hair" product when I saw this gel bronzer and thought "Bonne Bell" (gasp, haven't heard that name in a while), I can throw that cheapie in the basket and give it a whirl. Good thing it costed a nickel. It does nothing much in the realm of tanning one's face. Eh. Oh well. 
Another Old Faithful: Clarins.
How could I forget Lancome Flash Bronzer. Weren't you always so excited to get a free tube of this in your Gift With Purchase bag? 

Moving on to my obsession with beach hair. I call these the real Locks for Love. As a primer - I have poker straight hair. My hair would give Annie Duke a run for her money (oooh, good one Bran). Anyways, my strands are thin, fine, and never grow longer than my bra strap on my back. The kind of hair that needs to be dirty to curl. The kind of hair that clip in extensions were MADE for (if you have any hair to clip them into and not show the clips)! But to this day, I am still that girl that thinks, "this is the year I will have beach hair!" I will make it happen! The products say so, right?! I will just say that no matter what I do ~ my hair never turns out like this:
Ok, her hair isn't the only thing that is perfect.

Stay focused on the hair, people! 

According to Oprah.com...

For fine to medium texture hair that is straight to loosely wavy:
  • Shampoo and condition your hair before bed and towel dry.
  • Evenly distribute a conditioning mousse (with hold) in sections throughout your entire head, when finished comb through.
  • Scrunch your hair and get a good night sleep! You'll wake up the next morning with bed head with texture and volume! From here you'll only need 10-15 minutes to refine this look.
  • Begin at your nape, twisting and curling your hair around a medium size curling iron from the midshaft to the ends. Once you reach your crown twist and curl your hair from the roots to the ends. (Working on hair that is "dirty" helps your style to last longer).
  • Allow your hair to cool and then soften your waves by finger styling your hair with a greaseless lightweight shine serum.

As for the above- I've been there, done that. Who has that kind of time to fuss with all those steps?

This was the first product I ever used for my beach hair. What a waste. 

This was my impulsive purchase. I "scrunched"this product into my hair before going to bed. Smells amazing. I woke up with dry, crunchy, voluminous (yes! for real) hair. If I twisted my hair around a curling iron, I'd for sure have beach hair!

Remember this beaut of a photo? What color was I here, you ask? Lit-erally the crayola color "indian red" -something NOT found in a bottle. The hair remains straight on the daily :?